Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Open Your Eyes – Poem



Shackled in the confines of my mind,
The pain lingers, warming itself,
In its new vessel: Me.

Shrouded in blackness, eyes stare blind,
I know there is a mirror before me,
But the reflection – likely grim – is not for me to see.

I try to move, but something holds me back,
Bound, incarcerated in my own mind,
I scream
But my screams are lost in the whirlpool of my head.

I struggle to open my eyes
What has glued them shut?
I howl as the skin tears apart

They open

But to what end…
Darkness reigns free
Stretching endlessly

Ahead, around, below, beyond,
My mind mocks me, torments me.
The morbid bastard!

I curse it
But my words are hollow
Ricocheting on the walls

I am nothing
Staring in the abyss of time.
Life wasted, useless.

I cry.

Tears stream down my face,
Warm against the frigidness,
They embrace me in a cocoon

I close my eyes,
Red and green circles cloud my vision,
I count them, arrange them; damned OCD

I wonder
Who or what has caused this…
This trauma?

Was I traumatised?
How? When?
Questions. Questions.

I cover my head with my hands
"Stop asking and rise up
Open your eyes and welcome the light"

The words ring in my ear
Who said them?
I ignore my own question

I shut my eyes. Hard.
I'm scared.
A coward.

Have I become my own victim?

I shake my head,
I hear, feel
My shackles on the floor.

I may not be strong
But I can get up

I will not be any embodiment
Of all that is good,
That crap they say.

But I will rise.
And face my demons.

I open my eyes.




Written Thursday, 24 August 2017
At 18:17

Last week I asked friends for a word bank and this is one of the word banks that came through.


Sarah AbdelBadee's word bank: Trauma, OCD, shackled, cocoon, morbid, pain, shroud, whirlpool, endless, Embodiment